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The Audacity of Dope

December 8, 2009
Seldomly had I seen such arrogance. Dope had the audacity to think that I was his property. The drug tried to convince me that I was his slave. That I was no longer free to exercise free will. For years he dragged me through the streets and put me on display like a street performer hustling for loose change. But it wasn't all his fault. I gave him permission to do it. In fact, I encouraged him to help me to wreck my life.

One day I asked God to help me take back my life. I had grown weary of the vice like grip that the drug claimed over me. God's answer was yes and I have not looked back since. I know that it is imposible to move forward while looking in my rear view mirror. And I know that life for me will be good if I keep coming back. Happy Holidays

Posted by Michael Givens

 

Thanks given

November 26, 2009
Mr. Green loved his wife. So much so that he would shower her gifts and take her out to dinner several days a month; just because. They lived in a beautiful home and had very expensive cars. For the past twenty years, Mr. Green worked as a vice president of a major bank and was up for a promotion.

On this day, Green reported to work and found an email from the bank's president requesting a meeting at 11:00 AM. Green was excited and anticipated his boss offering him a raise and promotion. Inste...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Recovery Books

November 24, 2009
Someone once told me that if I'm not working on my recovery, I'm working on my relapse. I find that one of the best ways for me to work on my recovery is to read about how others have recovered. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous are obvious winners and top my reading list. They both are inspirational and motivational and a great way for me to kick off my day with an attitude of gratitude. My requirements for other books that I read are that they ar...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

My inner adict

November 21, 2009

Today I realize that my inner addict is always working against me. Without clueing me in to what he was thinking, my inner addict is planning and plotting ways to undermine my sobriety. I have grown to recognize the signs, though they are subtle.

His rise to dominance begins in ways that are barely noticeable at first. My addict did things like forcing me to remember the “good times” that I had getting loaded and ignoring the disasters. He encouraged me to drive through the old neighborh...


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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Tween a Rock and a Hard Place

November 19, 2009
Being forced into hard places gives us a whole new perspective on life. Things we once valued no longer hold the same value. Small things become big things, and what we once thought big no longer holds such importance.

These hard places allow us to identify with the sufferings of others. It keeps us from having a shallow view of the hardships of others and allows us to truly identify with them. Those who speak of such trials from no experience often judge others who have had such hardship. ...


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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Cocaine Lied to Me

November 18, 2009
I was in my apartment when my dinner was interupted by a knock at the door. I opened it a found a pretty woman That I barely knew standing there. I invited her in and after a brief conversation my attractive friend told me that she wanted me to meet a friend of hers. Suddenly and out of nowhere appeared her friend. Her friend was a small white rock that said nothing at first. She just sat on my coffee table staring at me. My "friend" told me that the white substance's given name was crack, bu...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Anti-Addiction Drug

November 18, 2009
The following article appeared in the magazine Science Digest: 
Neuropharmacologists ran clinical trials to find that a drug called topiramate is an effective therapeutic medication for decreasing heavy drinking and diminishing the physical and psychosocial harm caused by alcohol dependence. The drug works by blocking the right amount of the feel good effects of alcohol (brought on by increased levels of dopamine), making drinking less enjoyable and thus reducing cravings and helping to stop h...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Recovery Books

November 18, 2009
Someone once said that a man that knows everything knows that he knows nothing at all. I keep that in mind when I get so confident in my recovery that I fail to take action to reinforce it. I have to remember that when I am sober, my disease is doing push-ups in my brain. So I do things like go to meetings and attent support groups, talk to other addicts, and read, read, read. Someone once told me, garbage in, garbage out. So I have to be careful what information I put in my head. All NA and ...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Sobriety vs Recovery

November 6, 2009

Welcome to the Hope Fiend Blogspot. The Dopeless Hope Fiend  chronicles my journey to recovery. It wasn't easy to write. With each page, I relived the insanity, pain and heart break that I spent so many years accumulating. Some days, after sitting at my computer terminal for several hours I remember being mentally exhausted. I felt as if I had just finished running an emotional marathon. It was almost as if I were walking down a metaphoric alley and someone beat the crap out of me with a base...
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Posted by Michael Givens

 

Welcome to the Hope Fiend Blog. It is my intent to make this a forum that people with addictions or those associated with people with addictions can feel free to express themselves. Remember: An addict alone is in bad company.

Michael C. Givens-Author 

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